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Attachment Styles & Why They Are Important

Attachment styles are a topic that tend to pop up within conversation during therapy sessions and holds interest for many clients to gain a better understanding as to why they view the world through a certain lens along with how they portray themselves within relationships, be it family, friends or romantic.

These are common questions we all ask ourselves at one point or another; therefore I decided to create this blog to present a short synopsis and unravel the meaning behind attachment styles along with how each style affects our overall being.


What is the meaning of attachment style?

Attachment style refers to a certain way in which an individual relates to another person. Knowing your attachment style helps paint a picture as to how we relate to the world around us.


Why is attachment style important?

I truly believe becoming aware of your attachment style is completely necessary to allow yourself to recognize your core values, beliefs and aid you to understand problems you may be having within your personal or professional life. Our attachment style is deeply rooted within our personality and behavior- it can be difficult to identify our attachment style although having self-awareness is a great first step to acknowledge what aspects of our lives belong in the past and how to focus on the present to move forward.


Overview of the 4 attachment styles:

Secure Attachment

Signs of having a secure attachment include:

• Holding confidence to seek support

• Ability to regulate and manage emotions well

• Comfort with being alone

• Comfort within relationships

• High value of self-worth

• Effective style of communication


Anxious Attachment

Signs of having an anxious attachment include:

• Becoming easily overwhelmed

• Seeks reassurance

• Irrational thoughts

• Caring towards others feelings and neglects own emotions

Disorganised Attachment

Signs of having a disorganized attachment include:

• Trust issues

• High level of anxiety

• Fear of rejection

• Holds values of both avoidant and anxious attachment styles

• Struggle to regulate emotions

Avoidant Attachment

Signs of having an avoidant attachment style include:

• Dismissive of others

• Highly independent

• Fear of relationships

• Finds it uncomfortable expressing feelings and emotions.


Can I Change my Attachment Style?

Attachment styles are deeply rooted within us from childhood, therefore most people do not change their attachment style, although you can absolutely alter your style to become more or less secure depending on your current values and beliefs. Seeking therapy can assist you in altering your attachment style to suit what way you wish to live going forward.

Attachment styles & CBT

Altering your attachment style may be difficult initially,although, it can be supported by using one of the most effective modern therapies- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). CBT is an evidence and research based approach to support clients in managing their behaviours and feelings by changing their thought patterns and way of thinking. Here at Evolve Mental Health, we allow time for clients to focus on their core beliefs and values in order to support those in having a better understanding of oneself.


Figuring out your attachment style may become quite overwhelming for some as you are unravelling your past experiences to note how they affect your present self.

Remember to reach out if you feel the need for support; sometimes the smallest step in the right direction is the biggest step in your life.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog. To make an appointment with me, you can contact via email and request to work with Samantha. Alternatively you can also fill out the booking form at the following link - Book An Appointment.

Warm Regards,


Samantha Grace (Therapist)


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